Did your breakup leave you feeling unsafe, unsettled and out of sorts?
Fuel the bounce back of resiliency by making positive changes in mind, body and spirit. From your own home, hotel room or office, tackle breakup residue with trainers used by Jennifer Garner, Julia Roberts and Demi Moore right HERE, right NOW!
First, calm unsettled nerves with Drew Barrymore's Mind, Body and Spirit Guru KENT BURTON. Simply click below for a complimentary peace meditation session with the expert who gets Hollywood sweethearts back on track when heart break throws them off-course.
Whether a diet person or not, you may be experiencing a phenomenon, noted by experts, as a 'breakup diet,' where, during a loss, one may experience drastic changes in appetite. Under duress, our bodies create additional adrenaline, resulting in elevated cortisol levels that lead to depression of immune responses, increased fat accumulation, and even loss of cognitive function. The list goes on ...
At The BREAK-UP Biz™, our mantra is to turn negatives into positives. So, we turned this breakup malady into a breakup remedy. To us, BREAK-UP DIETS® are NOT diet plans associated with weight gain or loss like Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem, rather, a series of do-it-yourself, self-help personal improvement programs that come in tips, techniques and best practices, sometimes quirky and silly, sometimes serious and straight to the heart, as featured throughout The BREAK-UP Biz™.
Learn how a perpetrator targets YOU so you can see a shady character before they see YOU in the first of our recommended BREAK-UP DIETS® as featured below where you can restore your sense of sanity right HERE, right NOW through our 21-Day Staying Safe Program lead by The Safe-T Guru™, EARNEST HART, JR., who joins The BREAK-UP Biz™ to give you an overview of what it means to be 'safe' in LOVE, LIFE and WORK. EARNEST is a world-class martial arts champion and self-defense expert. He was named one of the "Top Ten Kickboxers of All Time".
He trains Fortune 500 executives in self-defense and helps them develop awareness, mindset and tools for personal safety. He lectures on dealing with conflict and anger, and making good decisions in dangerous situations. EARNEST has been a personal security consultant to many celebrities, and has worked alongside Hollywood heavyweights Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris and Willem Dafoe, and is the 'go-to' expert behind outstanding fighting scenes in various martial arts films including Karate Kid, Mortal Kombat and To Live and Die in LA.
EARNEST was last seen on the big screen helping George Clooney combat crime in Batman & Robin, and now appears as our resident bodyguard. He tells us, contrary to what most believe, most abuses are not committed by a scary character jumping out of the bushes. In most cases, a perpetrator actually has some interaction with you before a crime is committed. Learn more right HERE, right NOW and/or dive deeper by clicking on BOX to sign up for the program ...
According to our Safe-T Guru™, perpetrators are opportunists who look for the easiest and most vulnerable target possible. These shady characters look for victims, not opponents.
For example, sexual abusers are usually not strangers, which is a shocking and frightening fact to many. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimates that as many as three-quarters of reported cases of child sexual abuse are committed by those who are part of the victim’s immediate 'circle of trust,' such as family and friends.
Statistics also support the theory, you are more likely to be murdered by a spouse than a stranger. Unfortunately, police show up when a crime has, sadly, already been committed. Rarely, do they show up to prevent one.
EARNEST claims police also are not always available, and you can’t necessarily depend on friends and strangers to help you. They may be less prepared to deal with unsafe situations than you. And, more often than not, most believe crime happens to other people, not them. Therefore, most are ill-equipped when a perpetrator crosses their path.
Tactics EARNEST used to protect the elite he now shares with us here at The BREAK-UP Biz™. He tells us, 'Your best defense is YOU,' claiming mental or emotional strengths and weaknesses are a major factor in personal safety. Nonverbal messages in your personality and body language reveal the ease at which a perpetrator can play out a crime.
Perpetrators love to pick their victims. For example, an easy target is someone walking and talking on his or her cell phone with no awareness of what is going on around them. OR, someone who is overly nice and worried about offending someone to whom does not yet appear to be a perpetrator.
“When safety skills are developed, signals of confidence and strength are sent out,' says EARNEST. "It says to a perpetrator that you are not an easy target. Generally speaking, a personality that works best in diffusing potential situations is one that is neither too passive, as that may embolden the perpetrator, nor too aggressive, as that may trigger a similarly aggressive response by the criminal.
The most effective line of defense, EARNEST claims, is a calm, confident approach under duress. For example, if a victim reacts with excessive fear and panic, it can often trigger a power trip in the perpetrator. The perpetrator then experiences a rush of power, which can make him feel in control and that he can do anything he wants. This scenario can turn a burglary into a sexual assault or homicide.
To an untrained eye, acts of violence seem to just explode out of nowhere. But, an escalation process always occurs, EARNEST says. It can start with something as simple as a verbal dig, to provoke and bait you, or through deception, which gives the perpetrator a sense of power and the patience to wait out an opportune time.
Also to note, even if you can’t see it, the most violent criminals have to psych themselves up before they commit a crime. To protect yourself, EARNEST suggests assessing, to the core, who you are and, how you are likely to react under duress. Then, be open-minded about making self-improvements that can enhance your personal safety.
By answering the following questions HONESTLY, you can equip yourself with how you might react in the face of adversity:
What type of person do you think you are? Are you open-or close-minded? Are you aggressive or passive? Are you laid back or a loudmouth?
Can you handle stress? Are you able to stay strong and confident during a crisis? Do you believe you can step forward and act when confronted with a potentially dangerous situation?
How well can you express yourself while under pressure? Do you lose focus or get rattled if someone verbally attacks you?
Do you have the skills to defuse a potentially hostile situation, with your own words, and feel comfortable about it?
Continue to read on about more ways on how you can defuse situations when faced with adversity ...
How to LOVE Safely: Did You Know?
Basic household items like a book, a cane, a pen or pencil, an umbrella, or aerosol spray may be used as a weapon against aggressive romantic partners, rapists and stalkers.
A common practice of abductors and rapists is to open up side doors and pull in their unsuspecting victims.
When choosing a parking space, remember that many parking lot crimes happen in the outer perimeter because it offers a better escape route for the criminal.
When staying in a hotel or motel, rooms near places of activity such as the front desk or the hotel office, or the elevator are much safer than at the end of the hall; the extra noise is worth the added security.
Don’t discount the fact that men are also caught off guard -- and most often in the restroom, especially while standing at the urinal. According to EARNEST, there is no honor among thieves.
We suggest giving EARNEST‘s book a read on How to Vacation and Travel Safely and Come Back Alive but here is a sneak peak. Plus MORE on how to live and work more safely ...
How to LIVE Safely: Did You Know?
The first layer of security, which most people forget or under-estimate, is having and being a good neighbor. Good neighbors look out for each other’s homes.
Among criminals who break into homes, the doors were unlocked 40 percent of the time. Statistics also show that three-quarters of burglaries victimizing older people involve unlocked doors and windows.
While women are more likely to be victims of robbery or sexual assault, youth are most likely to be kidnapped or molested. Senior citizens are more likely to be targets of purse snatchings, scams and home invasions.
The most popular carjacking technique is the “bump and rob” in which you are rear-ended by a driver.
“Of course, your first instinct is to get out of the car,” EARNEST says, “but don’t. Remember, once you get out of your car, you become vulnerable, especially if you are alone. Everyday crimes -- from robbery, sexual assault, burglary, stalking, con-games, carjacking, pick pocketing, and home invasions -- can occur anywhere, anytime. In EARNEST’s 21-Day Program, you will learn how to:
Minimize the chances of a crime happening to you
Defuse a situation with words and body language
Try to see things before they happen
Quickly size up a person to avoid unnecessary conflict
Use the environment to your advantage
How perpetrators pick YOU!
How the average criminal seeks to control you
What your body language tells a perpetrator
Where criminals look for prey
How a crime occurs
What to do when you witness a crime
What you can learn from the bad guys
What makes the bad guys tick
How to WORK Safely: Did You Know?
Workplace violence committed by employees or former employees has become one of the fastest growing problems in corporate America. A poll conducted by Employment Law Alliance, Philadelphia-based Reed Group, surveyed 1,000 American adults on the topic of workplace bullying and found:
45 percent said they have worked for a supervisor or employer they consider abusive.
More than 50 percent of American workers have been the victim of, or heard about, supervisors/employers behaving abusively.
Southern workers (34 percent) are less likely to experience an abusive boss than are their Northeastern (56 percent) and Midwestern (48 percent) counterparts.
64 percent believe an abused worker has the right to sue for damages.
By definition, 'workplace bullying' is the reported, health-harming mistreatment of an employee in the form of a verbal abuse or behaviors that are threatening, intimidating or humiliating.
EARNEST says, in an article “Effective Ways to Deal with Bullying Bosses” he co-authored with Jennifer Touma, a mental game coach, bullies practice psychological violence by unleashing verbal aggression through yelling, swearing or making negative comments. They withhold vital information, steal credit for other’s work, spread malicious rumors, socially exclude their victims and humiliate victims in front of others.
Their article identifies two kinds of bullies: unsuccessful ones who don't last long at companies, and successful ones who are competent but create problems. Some bullies operate under the radar undetected because they project such traits as being intelligent, hard-working, self-confident, competitive and independent. Such traits may fill the job description, but they are devoid of empathy and compassion. A bully acts with malice, carefully chooses YOU and creates roadblocks to derail your success. Their misuse of power and authority is relentless.
Bullies are self-centered, emotionally restless, subjective and focused totally on their own needs. On the other hand, a tough boss simply treats all employees fairly, sets high expectations and holds employees accountable. If the employee has a problem, a tough boss works with him or her to overcome barriers and use constructive dialogue. Bullied employees quickly become mentally and emotionally exhausted. This leads to physical illness, high absenteeism, low self-confidence, and feelings of depression, social isolation, increased anxiety, sleepless nights and high turnover.
To lessen the impact of a bullying boss, Earnest and Jennifer recommend the following seven ways to handle one:
1 - Verbal self-defense Don’t let the bully’s abusive words rattle you. Respond calmly and unemotionally. Make eye contact and declare with a firm voice, “Your tone is unacceptable and I won’t tolerate it.” Restrict your statement to the present situation. Confront the bully in private because bullies never back down in public or apologize.
2 - Project self-confidence Gain self-confidence by facing adversity and meeting challenges. Project this self-confidence through strong body language, quality work, a measured tone of voice and a firm handshake when dealing with others.
3 - Document everything Keep a detailed journal of your interactions, what happened and when, what was said and any witness statements. You'll need this information to report the bully to human resources or legal authorities. Keep your journal and notes at home and do not create these or store them on the company computer.
4 - Seek help Any employee has the right to take swift action against bullying. Realize co-workers may distance themselves to protect their jobs. But don't handle your bullying situation alone. Seek the assistance of a mentor, coach or legal advocate who specializes in unfair workplace behavior. Going to human resources is a good start.
What should you do before you approach HR?
Support your complaint with documented evidence.
Get legal advice to learn your rights and options.
Familiarize yourself with your company’s employee welfare policy on bullying.
Ask your HR representative what you can expect from them and if your conversations are confidential.
Determine whether others who have approached HR have been labeled complainers or a liability.
If you do nothing, be mentally prepared for more of the same, forcing you to quit your job or be asked to leave as your work quality slips.
5 - Prepare emotionally Not many people like to confront the person they are reporting. Mental toughness will help you feel in control of your emotions and life, respond proactively to challenges and act with confidence, calmness and resolve. Being mentally tough will help you to withstand the stress and pressure of the process.
6 - Develop a strong, disciplined mind Become more inner-directed and self-reliant. Pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling. Train your mind to be alert by staying in the present. When your mind is strong and disciplined, it enables you to face the bully rather than giving the bully permission to control you.
7 - Don't expect to change the bully You have no control over a bully’s behavior or attitude. Your best option is to manage the situation and shield yourself emotionally, psychologically and legally. It's the company’s responsibility to protect the welfare of its employees’ from all types of workplace behavior and harm, including bullying.
In addition to being a world-class martial arts champion, personal security consultant and author, EARNEST conducts workshops and lectures for organizations, captivating his audiences with details of his life experiences and providing them with straight talk about their personal safety.
“Effective Ways to Deal with Bullying Bosses” is co-authored by Jennifer Touma, a certified international mental game coach who was trained in black belt martial arts by Mr. Hart. Jennifer is President of Mindscape, a Black Belt leadership and professional development, coaching, speaking and consulting company. Her Seize Your Moment seminars cover mental toughness for leadership and empowerment in the workplace. Jennifer has her master’s in Leadership, and her book Moment of Impact is based on her own life-threatening moment of impact.
Moment of Impact uses stories, examples and teaching moments to reveal strategies you can use to become more self-directed, personally effective and present in any moment. The book is a practical guide towards meeting life-altering moments with confidence, power and decisiveness – in essence, how to find that emotional toughness within. Moment of Impact offers tips, tools and practices you can use to take charge of your thoughts and emotions rather than surrendering control to others and to circumstances in your life.
End Result, Emotional Toughness, Mental Strength. Do you have it?
Mental toughness means controlling your thoughts and emotions, enabling you to respond to situations effectively with calmness, focus and presence of mind, and is also known as mental strength, a life skill, a characteristic and a mindset that helps you get through tough times, empowering YOU to perform in life with less effort, less struggle, less stress as the underlying backbone that fuels your ability to persevere and rebound from setbacks and disappointments.
According to EARNEST and Jennifer, mental toughness can be developed and is fast becoming the competitive edge for athletes, business professionals and consumers. Seen from a martial arts model, it is a defensive art, not an offensive one. When you make the decision to be mentally stronger, your interest in success and accomplishment is brighter, richer and more fulfilling.
Those who are mentally tough prime themselves for long-term success. Mental toughness is the ability to manage your emotions, thinking and attitudes despite prevailing circumstances.Seven traits of mental toughness include physical fitness, self-belief, motivation, positive attitude, focus, resiliency and open-mindedness.
"Taking on this type of personal and professional development is like building a new muscle at the gym; it takes time, effort, and work -- and it doesn’t happen overnight,” the martial arts duo say. When you’re facing a situation that may be daunting or overwhelming, they recommend:
Be gentle and patient with your development.
Pay close attention to your thoughts.
Control your emotional response to all circumstances.
Visualize being powerful, resourceful, and triumphant.
Remember the adage, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
Here’s a partial list of evidence EARNEST and Jennifer compiled that can indicate you’re cultivating mental toughness:
You remain calm and focused under pressure instead of losing your cool.
You make a commitment and follow through with it instead of breaking it.
You adapt to the challenges that step in front of you instead of rigidly resisting them.
You stick with a project instead of giving up at the first hint of complexity.
You surround yourself with more positive people instead of naysayers with negative attitudes.
As you navigate the often challenging, sometimes treacherous waters of business, relationships, and life, practice building and mastering the skills of mental toughness. At the very first sign of feeling pressure or not wanting to stand up to a challenge, immediately stop what you’re doing, take a few deep breaths and be still in mind and in action. Then ask yourself, “Am I allowing these events or circumstances to control how I emotionally respond, or am I controlling how I want to respond?"
Find Emotional Toughness, Mental Strength right HERE, right NOW!
Welcome to our wellness community where together we work out our breakup woes through membership in VIGOROOM, an all-access pass to America's top wellness coaches!
Our wellness community is tailor made for the wellness conscious as well as the chronically health challenged, and caters to those who use modern technology for their wellness needs. Each program has been exclusively produced by leading wellness experts to ensure emotional, physical and financial HELP is available to YOU online around the clock anytime, anywhere on iPhones, iPads and desktops.
“I love the concept of breaking UP to a better life. It's a message that needs to be shouted to the world!” says KATHY SMITH, America's Fitness Trainer to Generations of Wellness Enthusiasts.
KATHY is among world-class experts featured in our VIGOROOM. Our personal trainers have coached dozens of Hollywood Heartbreakers from Brad Pitt to Madonna. Now YOU! Start by sporting a smile. Smiling is among the best exercises to firm up muscles in the face. It’s true! Your face needs and benefits from exercise just like the rest of your body. Although you may rarely hear about exercising your face, those delicate muscles need movement, too.
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